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Wednesday, June 28, 2006
 
Tit For Tat
Sunday, 1 Promise 2006

My dKos implant has been activated, and it compels me to break the silence I have so loyally adhered to since the whole KosGate scandal erupted. My unquestioning obediance to the vast left wing conspiracy has generated the following words for your infotainment, O My Brothers:


Respect Where Respect Is Due
by Tom Gevaert
Loosely based on insane ramblings in The NY Times by David Brooks

They say that the Repugnican't spin is just starting up for the fall elections and politics has become the realm of the small-minded. But in the land of the Reich Wing, the Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Usurper must be accorded full respect.

The Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Usurper, a k a Gee What A Dumba$$ Putsch, sits in the WhiteWash House, fires up his Republibots at CNN, Faux Snooze, and the New York Times (hi McBobo!), and commands his followers, who come across like squadrons of rabid theofascists, to unleash their venom on those who dare to point out that the Chimperor has no clothes. And in this way the Usurper has made himself a mighty force in his own mind, and every knee shall bow.

The Usurper's first enemy was the right to an open governmental process, where energy task force meetings would not be populated with corpo-weasels from the energy industry, and where, even if they were, that knowledge would be available to the public. So he declared by Imperial Fiat that no one would know who or what went on in those meetings, and it pleased him to see freedom being constrained in this manner in the land of the brave. When the Putsch administration appointed the supremely unqualified, and extremely partisan Karl Rove and Karen Hughes as taxpayer paid administration insiders accountable to no one, this was an appropriate sign of disrespect, and the Usurper did lay his hand of pResidential approval upon the Rovian smear campaign (whilst hiding his connections to it).

When OhMyGodWhatADick Cheney, the pResident of the Senate, told an elected Senator to go Cheney himself on the floor of the Senate when he first became its' pResident, this was also a sign of respect. The Usurper had instructed his Repugnican't minions to support any and all smears of Democratic Party members. And the Usurper pretended he could not hear the smears of his minions, and mindless hacks like McBobo bought it hook, line, and sinker, and disseminated it throughout the land.

The Usurper often directs his wrath at Repugnican'ts who have not bought into his neocon fantasies. But the gay hooker JD Guckert has also swallowed whatever the pResident shoots his way, and the Usurper has graciously exempted Guckert from the need to be a credentialed member of the press. Guckert is frequently utilized By the Repugnican'ts as something akin to a porn fluffer.

And so it is in the realm of the Usurper. Those who blindly follow the edicts of the Chimperor get respected.

But lo, there are doubters. Joe Wilson, a US diplomat, whose wife was treasonously outed as a CIA operative while a non-official covert operative, wrote a column in the New York Times pointing out the inconsistency between the utterances of the Chimperor and reality. He further refused to cave in to administrative pressure, and stuck to his story.

The Illegally Installed Drunken Cokeheaded Deserter was displeased by this publicity.

But the Usurper hid his mighty wrath from public view (although reportedly he took it out on those who supported him the most), and his minion Rove responded with the sleaziness for which he is so well known. In a private letter to hundreds of his fellow conservative kool-aid drinkers, Rove declared (on behalf of the Usurper) he would "go on the offensive" in a "couple of months," but in the meantime, a code of omertà was in order. "It would make my life easier if we can confine the story," he wrote. "If any of us respond to the Democratic allegations right now, we fuel the story. Let's starve it of oxygen. Besides, I have a doozy of an operation slated to begin this September. They won't buy the bs then if we start to peddle it now."

But alas! There were still those of integrity within the bureaucracy, who attempted to prevent the Usurper's Kristallnacht, and tried to inform the public of what the Usurper had in store for america.

The Usurper waxed Cheneyesque on the evils of leaking, and this time the squeaking fury of the Dunsel In Chief could be heard (to those capable of discerning bedwetting cowards) far and wide. The Usurper excommunicated those who dared to dissent from the administration. "you are either with us or with the terrorists" he said with a straight face during remarks to the US Congress.

"We ask every nation to join us. We will ask, and we will need, the help of police forces, intelligence services, and banking systems around the world." the Usurper charged. And so a pair of Asian nations was expunged from the global community of the righteous, and its people cast into the shadow of oblivion.

The Usurper does not notice that his people are angered with his arrogance (unless his advisors disrupt his blissful ignorance). Sounding like Tom DeLay ? who is his loyal lieutenant ? Putsch says that those who dare to criticize his Imperial pResidency and take on the establishment are bound to be persecuted to the full extant that the administration is capable of.

But the truth is that the new boss is little different from the old boss ? only smaller. Dennis Hastert and Bill Frist and many other Repugnican'ts bow and scrape to this Clueless Blunder. He has managed to spread the gospel of smear and deflect far and wide, which is not really about ideas and philosophy. "If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier...just as long as I'm the dictator" he has said.

And so the Usurper has his relationships and his understandings and his networks and his compromises. In just a few short years he has achieved a level of self-importance it took those in the pre-junta political class decades to acquire. And all it has cost mankind is the soul of its' greatest nation.

He has challenged his enemy and become it.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005
 
Faux Meat Roundup

We've been busy over at this wondrous site, where we can begin to put together the Red Meat imitations we are going to gather together for you here today:

Creativity in action 1


Creativity in action 2


Creativity in action 3


Creativity in action 4


Check out the latest Faux Meat here [Warning: offensive language might be found in some comics].

Tuesday, March 01, 2005
 
We're Still Having Credulity Problems...

...because it's been almost a year now since we moved to the new digs, and we're still getting about twenty hits a day here at the old place. If you make it here, why not take that extra click of your mouse to check out the new digs? If you're a blogger who is still inked to this zone, could you please update your links to point to the new digs?

At least we now have more links pointing to the new digs than we do to the old. But our sites must be some of the ones that drive NZ Bear nuts - they're both listed as rodents in the ecosystem, even though this site is actually lower on the evolutionary scale.

Anyways,... if you've read this far, why not take those precious few extra seconds and go visit the new digs? You'll be glad you did...

Wednesday, September 22, 2004
 
As unbeleivable as I have to find this, all the bloggy goodness of my new home seems to be unnoticed by some of those of you out there. We are getting more hits on our old site on a daily basis than we are getting at our new home. Everyone please update your bookmarks to go to our new home, and come visit our new home on a daily basis (as you seem to be doing here at our original home!) because we have almost managed to post at least once per day for some significant stretches of time (we have just passed post 160 over at the new place) and once in a while even more than one in a 24-hour period.

Thanks to the good graces of Blogger we are still able to reach out and kindly request that you go over to our new home every day. There will be updated links in the new links zone over at our new home that you should check out, too...

Sunday, June 27, 2004
 
Additional Mayhem Shamelessly Cross-Promoted

Blah3's existing Coalition LogoNewly proposed Funny Farm alternative logo


inspired by an astral visit from the Ghost of Ann Slanders


The Sensible Party

Saturday, June 19, 2004
 
Assorted Mayhem Shamelessly Promoted

Wherein I put some new content here and link to some funky pics I have in my new zone. Click on the pics to be transported to a better place, with some soon to be added extra special features like cool mp3s not available for public consumption anywhere else and links to cool flash movies and such...

But that's all in the possibly never-to-be-actualized potential future. For now...

link
The Bush administration has a longstanding practice of making technically accurate, but misleading and tendentious, statements in order to try and trick people into believing things that aren't true, while protecting themselves from criticism in the elite media.


The Virgin Ben learns how to write


Mr. Happy Cat



Everybody Wants To Slag Ted Rall (sung to the tune of Everybody Wants To Rule The World)

Well Ted Rall is back
With a new cartoon
It caused quite a stir
We can see some
Handing him all kinds of anger
Showing off their ugly nature
Everybody wants to slag Ted Rall.

It's his only way
To say what he feels
Why is it so wrong
For him to speak out
On freedom and hypocrites
Nothing seems to be okay here
Everybody wants to slag Ted Rall.

There's some rooms where no light can find you
Making all of your accusations now
When you do you just look real foolish

So glad he's free to say it
So sad no one can take it
Everybody wants to slag Ted Rall.

I can't stand this indiscretion
Saying Ted's an unbalanced cretin
Everybody wants to slag Ted Rall.
Say that you'll never never never never read him
Let others just believe him
Everybody wants to slag Ted Rall.

All for freedom and for satire
Cartoons can sure cause some anger
Everybody wants to slag Ted Rall.


America's Dark Side


Constitution? We don't need no steenking Constitution!


You want Room 12A, just along the corridor...

Thursday, May 13, 2004
 
Blogging Up a Storm...

...over at the new home of the Funny Farm, where I'm putting up my first cat blogging pictures tomorrow. I can't tell you how good it is to be able to rely on your own space on the web instead of snarfing up bandwidth supplied by others. Which others of which I speak are becoming aware of the abusage that they have been experiencing and are no longer permitting it (cough cough WhiteHouse.org cough cough). And of course not even the ghost of Ann Slanders has come around for a while (paging John Wesley Hardin - please Talk To Me over at the new digs, if you know what I mean...). But she might find a way to get over to the new place by and by; in the meantime rest assured that the Ghost of Bill Sprint (along with the details of his legend) will be showing up in the new pages one of these days. If I can find enough filthy lucre to entice him into semi-compliance with my nefarious schemes, that is.

This should be the last entry here for a while. I just came over to see what all the fuss with the new Blogger software was. My answer: not much. Anyways,... go to the new site! Just go! And put a link to the new and improved Funny Farm (still 69% good, but a third more funny) in your blog links, or your web page links, or just brand it onto some Freepertrash buttocks for all I can do about it. I'll be there waiting to infotain you once again...

 

 
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