17 January 2003

Hot weekend coming up

…in the middle of winter? You betcha! It’s protest weekend here in AmeriKKKa. Hopefully the whores will maybe show some of it to us this time – it seems that Blogistan has tweaked their nose somewhat. And, I haven’t had any time to even open my emailbox here at the Funny Farm. Please send me links to war protest stories. We are off on a crusade to help Joe Baby, Sister Sandy, and the Rugrats learn how to live in peace and harmony with their new Windows XP computer.

Take Back the Media is on fire today. Go over there now and read the real news today, then see the commercial they are featuring that Move On has decided to put on the air (as of today). I was going to post a link to the movie and Move On's website today, but they beat me to it. I do believe Don and Symbolman (I wish I knew your real name…) are making some fine Flash presentations these days. Don’t you?

Mystery guerilla blogging may take place at undisclosed locations throughout the Midwest as the weekend unfolds. Have a good time on your time…

16 January 2003

I found this in an article here:

Drinky McDumbAss Wants YOU!

The Gauntlet has Been Cast: A Plea to Blogistan: Help me Fight The Conservative News Network

I sent the following email to Aaron Brown as Take Back the Media suggested:

From: Tom To: aaron.brown@turner.com
CC: Take Back the Media
Sent: Thu Jan 16 07:41:49 2003
Subject: CNN bias
Mr. Brown:

You're kidding, right?

"If I get one more note from one more viewer saying we here, all of us, are hoping for a war because it will be good for ratings, I'm going to blow."

The first Oil, er, Gulf War put the Conservative New Network on the map! The lack of in depth reporting on the atrocities carried out by the American troops in that one was amazing, and an indicator of things to come. Your non-reporting of the millions who have protested the war before it's even started was another leading indicator of your bias in this area.

The American People are sick of having WAR crammed down our throats. I suggest you try and integrate some journalistic principles into your infotainment feed.

I'll be getting my news from www.takebackthemedia.com from now on. At least they aren't afraid to tell the truth.


An ex-viewer

I just received his reply:

Lord. And where was that million person march exactly? Look, watch the program and then comment. Otherwise I see this as a lemming note. Love the internet
Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld (www.BlackBerry.net)

My reply is forthcoming and shall be (hopefully) backed up by the facts and figures. The atrocities I refer to are: the counter-spin Kuwati incubator propaganda that somebody (I believe it may have been HBO) ran as fact. And the bulldozing of Iraqi and other casualties into trenches that is reputed to have taken place during OilGulf War One. The million protesters are a guesstimate of the total number of protesters over the last year or so. It is over a million protesters, so far - by the minimal police estimates - right?

I have tried to be somewhat genteel in my dealings with the media. I really can’t believe how perfectly his answer fits the stereotype of the Media Whore. My email mentioned a million people protesting the war, not a million man march. It also did not mention:
-The clearing of any streets Drinky McDumbAss deigns to grace with his presence. Including, of course, anyone silly enough to disapprove of anything to do with him in any way;
-The busing in of his own crowd to line the streets for him, while cordoning off the guy who lives down the street with the anti-Smirk button in the ‘Dissidents’ zone, if he lives along the way and just might hold up a protest sign;
-The Unbelievable Cash Grab situation that Smirky McWarhardon has accelerated, apparently because he can;
-And, definitely not last and certainly not least, the willful ignorance of these stories. Instead of exploring them in depth, the Media Whores sweep them under the rug, and engage in counter propaganda. The Conservative News Network is one of the ringleaders in this sorry excuse for news.

Since I do not feel as constrained to be polite to Aaron Brown here at the Funny Farm, yet I still remain a gentlemen, I must take issue with his personal hypocrisy and profiteering as the head of an infotainment service whose motto should be ‘Half the news, all the time’. You, sir, are an archetype of the situation today: an arrogant member of the elite that does not even realize how arrogant he is. I don’t need to watch the pap on the TV. The transcripts (so far) have far fewer commercials – still too many for my taste, but fewer – and one can generally read through the lines well enough to put together the mornings Repugnicant BlastFax if I wanted to. You didn’t even cover a protest at your national headquarters - in fact you pulled the story from your web site. Of course, I am being generous in describing the two and a half paragraphs your organization devoted to this protest as a story. And the cute little spam tag on your email? To remind an average noodnik like me that you get to do this on your BlackBerry Wireless Handheld. Hmmmm… maybe some of my fellow bloggers – or some of my faithful minions - could find the time to send this guy a note?

Enough on my upcoming email adventure. If you can help me with links to the articles about the many war protest marches over the last year in America, specially if they come from foreign sources, and extra especially if they come from CNN itself. I am planning on sending off my reply on Sunday night / Monday morning, so If you can get me something before then, send me a link.

Words fail me in describing the following article: Sex life may be used against judges. Key lawmaker says Virginia anti-sodomy law a factor. I cannot be more ironic than this. Well, maybe… can anybody tell me who is planning to cast this first stone?

Definitely time for a margarita. Stay tuned for the next exciting chapter in this story!

Late Breaking Update: Stu and Mary sent me this article from the Toronto Star. Thanks you guys for showing us this perspective!

Bush Tax Break Boosts 'Regal Class' by Linda McQuaig, a Toronto-based author and political commentator:

It's interesting to imagine how long it took - after the first plane hit the World Trade Center - before the Bush administration fully grasped the enormous opportunity that had just opened up. If that sounds crass, I hasten to point out that I'm not the one who has taken advantage of the anxious post-9/11 political climate, in which it's considered unpatriotic to criticize or even question the White House. The Bush administration has effectively exploited this climate to push forward dubious policies that, in more relaxed times, would be subject to considerably more scrutiny and debate.

Of course, the first policies to get a post-9/11 makeover were those dealing with Washington's ability to use force in the world. With virtually no opposition, the Pentagon's budget was pushed way up, the president began speaking openly about pre-emptive nuclear war and the White House moved plans to win control over Iraqi oil onto the front burner.

But domestic issues with even less connection to "fighting terrorism" have also been put on fast-forward, including, as we saw last week, extreme tax cuts for the extremely wealthy.(Meanwhile, homelessness is rapidly rising, even among working Americans.)

Of course, tax cuts for the rich didn't just spring up after 9/11. From the beginning of his presidency, George W. Bush was pushing for a $1.6 trillion tax cut aimed largely at the rich - the constituency that lavishly financed his presidential bid and will be counted on to finance his re-election campaign.

But Bush's tax-cut effort picked up steam after Sept. 11. Suddenly, a not-particularly-popular and not-convincingly-elected president took on the mantle of a national saviour, able to peddle just about anything. In the new political climate, the expectations of the financial elite rose, and White House efforts to satisfy those expectations became bolder.

The centrepiece of Bush's proposed $674 billion tax cut is the elimination of tax on dividend income - something that is heavily concentrated in the hands of the wealthy. The result will be huge deficits for years to come, providing fuel for those pushing for ever-deeper social spending cuts. (These deficits should at least finally put to rest any lingering illusion that the Republican party is the party of fiscal responsibility.)

The White House has only bothered to place the flimsiest fig leaf over this latest boondoggle for the rich, asserting that it will provide "stimulus" for the whole economy. But even some pro-business commentators admitted there'd be little stimulus in eliminating dividend taxes for the rich (middle class stockholders already escape tax because their stocks are in tax-sheltered retirement plans).

The tax cut is unlikely to encourage companies to invest in the economy; if anything, they'll be under pressure from shareholders to pay out tax-free dividends instead. Still, the mainstream media deferentially referred to the proposed tax cut as the "economic stimulus package."

If economic stimulus were really the goal, almost any other plan would be preferable - even handing out cash to people passing by on the street; at least they'd spend it!

What Bush is proposing is so extreme, so unwarranted, so tilted to the mega-rich, so far from dealing with real problems that it simply leaves one's jaw in a freefall.

Is there no limit to the level of benefits considered appropriate to hand over to members of America's "regal class" who, according to former U.S. Labour Secretary Robert Reich, already enjoy "more wealth and income than any aristocracy has ever had"?

Is there no point at which fatigue - from continually helping themselves to an ever-larger slice of the pie - sets in?

Bush's 2001 tax cut delivered an average 10-year saving of $342,000 each to those in the top 1 per cent. Roughly half the benefits of this year's proposed elimination of the dividend tax will go to that same top 1 per cent. After a while, one's eyes start to glaze over at yet another statistic illustrating the enormity of the benefits going to the richest citizens.

It's hard to think of how to describe what's going on without resorting to words like "plunder." With the public still in a state of confusion and anxiety - an anxiety constantly stroked by reports of dark-beige-coloured men doing suspicious things like crossing borders - the Bush administration is moving hard and fast to plunder the U.S. treasury on behalf of those who brought it to power. In the immediate aftermath of Sept. 11, it was clear that the American right would be emboldened. But who would have dreamt it would come to this - 9/11 as an opportunity for the biggest heist the rich have ever attempted.

You go, girl!

15 January 2003

A few things to note:

I’ve gotten a strange sense of déjà vu here at the Funny Farm before. It seems to be resurfacing again…

Here are three different short shorts that have resonated in my melon of late:

A ‘Child’s Verse’ from a Poet of the Past, Hugh Mearns, The Little Man:

As I was walking up the stair
I met a man who wasn’t there.
He wasn’t there again today
I wish, I wish he’d stay away.

A poem from a Great Canadian Poet, Joe Trainor:

Reagan went to sleep
And his dreams came true
They trickled down
And pissed on you!

And of course, the fifththird, sir,… a lovely ditty by Andrew Motion, Great Britain’s Poet Laureate:

They read good books, and quote, but never learn
a language other than the scream of rocket-burn.
Our straighter talk is drowned but ironclad:
elections, money, empire, oil and Dad.

The Funny Farm has also stumbled upon this treasure-trove, and in so doing found this:

The Drinky McDumbAss 1040W

Surely, someone has an updated version of this form?

…and, yes,

I am calling you, surely…

14 January 2003

More fun with Pictures

Looks like it's just about time to start another war. My friend Tim thinks that the 17th will herald the next offensive military maneuver by Mr. Never Elected. This of course is waaaaay too early for the whole formalities thang - you know, inspectors inspecting, judgements made, that sort of nonsense. But he could have something there - it sure would put the drop on a lot of people, you know. And the juxtaposition! Right after the major war protests planned this weekend. That would show everyone how much pResident Moron values their feedback!

Oh, yeah – one other little indicator:

The latest poll numbers for Drinky McDumbAss

That’s right, kids… Sol Arbusto sinks lower again. Who trusts polls these days anymore? Or tailors their message based on them? Hmmmmmmm…

13 January 2003

The latest from Tom Tomorrow

A Challenge from Bart

Who said it?

"Hawaii is a unique state.
It is a small state.
It is a state that is by itself.
It is a --it is different from the other 49 states.
Well, all states are different,
...but it's got a particularly unique situation."

Chuck Heston
President Giggle
Ronald Reagan
Dan Quayle

Hey Bart!

Wow! That's a tough one. I think that all four of your contestants can actually pronounce all of the words...

But Drinky McDumbAss wouldn't be able to make it all the way through...
Quayle probably couldn't find Hawaii on the map,
And nobody cares what Heston raves about anymore,
So my guess is Ronnie Ray-Gun. Maybe a late 80's quote after the Alzheimer's kicked in?

But I have no clue which talking head was spouting when it got away from them that day...

Keep on digging up the funny stuff!

(: Tom :) from Hazeltucky

Update: D'oh! I guessed wrong. It seeems that the Man Who Makes Smirky McWarhardon look Smart - Dan Quayle - is the person responsible for that particular contribution to the Englitch Language.

However, I still like my answer. It was an inspired guess...

Bartcop shows us the numbers Drinky McDumbAss doesn't want you to see:

Thanks to BartCop for finding this pic!

You know, 17.4% savings for the fascist Repugnicantelite incomes vs. um, 0.2% in the democratic proposal. That's, like, an awful lot of the total, in actual dollar payouts, isn't it? Versus that 0.1% for the under $10,000 set under the Repugs. There are so many more of those - woiuldn't it make sense to give them something? And maybe lower that upper rate a wee bit?

Are you one of the Three Million?TM

I wrote a letter to Media Whores Online today after reading about the results of their 2002 Media Whore of the Year :

Welcome back, MWO!

A fine contest again this year. Talk about an embarrassment of riches in this category! Each and every one of the finalists deserves recognition for their hatchet work over the last twelve months.

But I must ask, how could you limit yourselves to these 10 Media Whores? How about expanding your categories in 2003? A Stepford TeleBimbo contest, a set of Limbaugh awards, corpo-weasel hypocrite of the year... the possibilities are vast!

I voted for Tim (the Catholic) Russert mainly on the strength of his shameless whoring attempts to make Rush Limbaugh (R-Lying Nazi Media Whore) a legitimate 'alternative Conservative' viewpoint on national TV while they were stealing the 2002 (s)elections! But I'm not bitter - yet. I am still trying to recover from the shock of the first theft of the White House in 2000. And our President-in-Exile deciding to let somebody else run against Drinky McDumbAss in 2004... sigh. The year hasn't gotten off to a brisk start.

The scary part in this neck of the woods is the thought that, up until now, the junta has not had complete control. Will we see, um, like, more arrogance, and stuff, from the Oval Orifice in the immediate future? And, doesn't the thought that we haven't seen Smirky's unbridled arrogance make anybody else nervous? History repeating itself, indeed...

But then comes the good part. The millions more marching against the war, and no reports of it in the Whore Media - yet the story still gets out, and even more turn out to the next march! The progressive radio voices being heard, and being listened to. People are realizing that things are going too far with the media manipulation, and the whole story needs to be told. Thanks for your tremendous work in getting us the information on how these whores operate the Mighty Wurlitzer. I hope you are rested and ready for the long tortuous road to (s)Election 2004 - because it's already started! And I look forward to reading your thoughts on these matters in the days to come. Take care!

(: Tom :)

12 January 2003

Thanks to whoever gave BartCop this pic!