20 December 2002

Holiday time has arrived here at the Funny Farm. It’s the last Sunday night of the year in the Hobbit Calendar. The work agenda for the rest of the year, oddly enough, involves making sure some people get to have fun for the rest of the year – beginning of coursae with your Humble Narrator. So I’ve spruced up some of the other websites (with their myriad links), and put some more kewl places to go to in the Funny Farm Links Zone TM.

Of course the BFEE is using this time to gloss over some of their grosser misadventures. And the Media Whores are falling right in line. The faux Ann Slanders has been in hibernation somewhere in the wilds of Blogistan since my 42nd birthday - which also happened to be the 39th anniversary of the Operation Remove JFK. And the real Ann Slanders got off her knees long enough to spew an amazingly inaccurate and vomitous mass of bile that Yahoo has seen fit to distribute. Maybe USA Today had reached its’ quota of RacistRepugnicant Right-Wing Nutjob articles for the millenium. Maybe it was that completely hypocritical way Ann tried to paint Strom Thurmond as a Democrat. Maybe it was the way she warped the facts for her own crazed ad hominems. Excuse me, can’t you wait until the man’s dead to distort the facts about him? Maybe it was the way yet another Media Whore tries to paint the Democratic Party as the party of bigots – as soon as someone dared to rip the hoods off of one her pimps in the White Supremacist Repugnicant Party. BartCop had it right when he said, “when the Democrats embraced civil rights, Reagan, Lott and Thurmond turned GOP”. PapaDoc, Rummy and the rest of the junta are also racists – but they are, above all, elitists. They worship the mean green, and that’s the only you will get any respect from them – if you’ve got the coin. Poor Little Rich Bitch Ann still gets no respect from the BFEE. She’s the trash-talking whore that will get the money now – but the bad heroin a little while down the road. Then PigBoy or his descendents will get out the Ann Slander jokes that have been going around BartCop for the last several years. And no one will listen to her last rabid screams – the ones that are finally real and coming from the screwing being lined up for her even today by the powers that be…

And we can all feel safe and secure in our nice comfy AmeriKKKan homes – unless the government screwed up our paperwork somewhere in the last 10 years. Especially if the screwup was made by a Dem who can be even remotely tied back to the Big Dog. ‘Cause then all of these INS detentions, plus any in the future, can be laid at the Democrats’ feet long enough to outrage enough people to vote (or not vote) and make it close enough so that the BFEE can jigger the machines again. The corporate entity – like all entities – is driven primarily by the survival instinct. The BFEE - the largest corporate entity still standing - will not be restrained much longer.

How’s that for a scary thought – the BFEE has been restrained up until now. Come January, pResident Moron will try and paint the vision of raping this country in the name of the people. And that means no more candy and flowers, kiddies…

19 December 2002

Have Yourself a Scary Little Christmas

‘Tis the season for giving. I guess that’s what the junta will be saying to the hundreds of Iranians who were detained after they registered in accordance with a new law. I don’t know about you, but I was not aware that anyone was required to register with the U.S. government because of the country they emigrated from. I wonder how many terrorists went in to comply with that directive?

It gets better. Armenians were also ‘asked’ to come forward and register too. Then, they were told “Nah. Don’t bother.” They were also told by the Injustice Department that they couldn’t say why or if this was a mistake. Reminds me of the time I went through Customs at the Windsor/Detroit tunnel, and was brought in to the office so they could check my documentation. After being detained for about an hour, they handed me back my documents and said “You can go now.” I asked them why I had been detained. They said “You can go now.” I asked them again what the problem was. They said “You can go now.” I still wonder what that was all about...

Meanwhile, we have been distracted informed about Trent Lott(R-Racist) being in favor of separating the races. The Media Whores tried at first to point out how much John Kerry pays for a haircut instead of focusing on this long-overdue expose. Never mind that Drinky McDumbAss pays $2-14 K for his custom-made suits. Then a couple of Internet sites got hold of the Lott story and wouldn’t let go. After ignoring things for a week or so, the Media Whores finally felt they had to discuss it. Even PigBoy eventually turned on Lott. Which means, IMHO, that he is being offered up as a sacrificial lamb. “Nope – no racists in the Repugnicant Party. We cleaned up that mess when we got rid of Trent Lott! Pay no attention to the Attorney General under that hood over there. Or the ‘esteemed’ senator from Oklabama. Or the pResident who sent a letter of praise to the Daughters of the Confederacy while he was Governor of Texas. Nope – no racists here!” The one ray of hope in this whole sad affair is that the Repugnicants who haven’t sold their souls to the BFEE will finally see that, once there usefulness is over, they will be summarily executed. That may convince them to reconsider their unswerving devotion to BabyDoc…

AmeriKKKa is also running into financial trouble. Possibly because of all those tax cuts that were going to ‘help the economy’? It seems that most states are running deficits these days. And, because they have to balance their budgets, they are cutting back on some services. Like incarcerating felons. In a couple of related stories, Chimpy decides to cut funding for heating subsidies, they have already cut funding to the UN’s Population Fund, and then they decide to blow at least $8 Billion on a missile defense system that doesn’t work. Of course, that means that some of that $8 Billion (multiply by 3 for typical cost overruns on the budget) will go into BFEE coffers… and, oh yeah, the government is now trying to make us think that the poor don’t pay their fair share of taxes. Are there no prisons (that we can afford on our state’s limited budget)? Are there no sweatshops workhouses?

Plus, for those of you who remember Smirk’s promise to hunt down bin Laden and bring him to justice, as well as eliminate al-Queda and bring a semblance of order to Afghanistan, here’s a quick update: we’re in control of Kabul and the surrounding 5 miles or so, the old warlords are back in charge of their little fiefdoms in the rest of the country, and women are still being harassed by old Muslim men. Probably because they aren’t getting any…

On a different note, I continue to be amazed at the number of times the Funny Farm has been accessed in only two weeks’ time. There must be at least three or four other people who check this site out on a regular basis! My gratitude goes out to you for showing me that I am not shouting into a vacuum…

Also, fellow blogger Mike Finley gives us a guide on prayer protocols. And I need to get busy on some of my Christmas gifts so they’ll be ready by next week. Happy holidays from the Funny Farm!