19 September 2003

Piracy Off the Fashionable West Bank of Blogistan!!TM

Avast ye scurvy dogs! I vowed I'd not cast my lot in with the rest of ye knavish louts, and join in Talk Like A Pirate Day. But, arrrrrrr, me sails were turned towards Tiny Polemics and Screaming Points. And they be offering swag that be mighty pleasing to the eye. Ye might be seeing a bit of plunder from those shores strewn about these parts, if ye be wary and ye be bold.

The crew be sailing for unfamiliar shores once again this weekend. So, until we meet again, May the devil find out you're dead a half hour after you're in Heaven, lads and lassies. Keep thy wits and thy courage about thee always in these rough seas. Arrrrrr!!!

The Funny Farm Fry(with a Why?)day Top Five Posts of the Week

Thursday September 18, 2003 Gregorian
Fryday 23 Halimath, 2003 Hobbit

[... man running through park, down a jogging path, past a posse of joggers, and up to a desk sitting in front of a fountain in the middle of the park. He runs up to the desk, picks up a piece of paper on the desk, and announces to the camera (talking very fast)...]

This is the Ghost of Bill Sprint with the Funny Farm Fry(with a Why?)day Top Five Posts of the Week:

Number Five - Angry Bear's It's Your Children's Money. Quick, Take It!;

Number Four - Counterspin's Never Trust Conventional Wisdom;

Number Three - Alas, A Blog's A bit more on the music industry;

Number Two - South Knox Bubba's Home Building Advice...;

And the Number One Posts this Week - Scoobie Davis' Limbaugh's Lies About Clark and Scoobie Davis' Limbaugh Update.

This has been the Ghost of Bill Sprint with the Funny Farm Fry(with a Why?)day Top Five Posts of the Week.

[... man dances through fountain as joggers go by the front of the fountain, then runs off screen...]

I am contractually obligated (cough) to tell you that I cannot nominate anyone within Open Source Politics. Because they'd probably win too much, dammit. How can they put out such excellent work over at OSP, when they're writing all that good stuff on their blogs, too?

I also hereby declare Matt Ygleisas and Oliver Willis to be disqualified from the Top Five. Because, well, they're like, professionals, and stuff. If you know of anyone else who is a professional writer by day, and a blogger by night, please let me know. Especially if I just put them in the top five...

The sites featured above, as well as everyone in the too good to qualify column, should all be seen a couple of times a week, minimum. You might miss some stuff if you only check out Odub that often...

I'm sure I will be pointing out some of their best work over the last little while in the near future. Stay tuned, gang...

17 September 2003

Two Years and Counting

Hmmm. Let's see now : there are 365 days in a regular year. And 365 + 365 would be... yeah, that's right. It would be two years since Stole Himself an Election gave the American people one of the moronic brownshirt remarks he has become so well known for: "I want justice," Bush said. "And there's an old poster out West, I recall, that says, 'Wanted: Dead or Alive.'"

Stop and think about how low the pResidential bar had to get in order for that statement to be taken seriously when coming out of the Shrubbery's gaping orifice. First of all, someone who cheated and stole to usurp the White House demands justice? If there truly were justice, we would be going through another legitimate Watergate / Keating / BCCI style investigation. Instead, we are now into Year Eleven of the Eight Years Hate and everything is still screwed because of the ClenisTM - at least as far as this administration and the media whores are concerned. Not that I would want to bring up that lack of personal responsibility, and that rush to point the finger of blame, which seems to be the hallmark of the compassionate conservative these days, or anything...

Then, the self same global village idiot makes some sort of vague threat - of course not directly. Instead we see inference and innuendo in his recollections of posters he saw in one too many spaghetti westerns during his formative years. He doesn't come out and say he's going to terminate bin Laden with extreme prejudice. No, he makes allusions to the wild west, and its' lawless vigilante 'justice'.

And now, it's two years later. Rumor has it that bin Laden is the Name That shall Not Be Uttered within the bloodstained walls of the capitol these days. That other guy that his family has a blood feud with is also said to be namen verboten within earshot of pResident Whistle Ass. But that's not a proven fact as yet - mere speculation on my part. Not that I would ever desire to get close enough to be able to figure it out myself.

Too bad the United States has such a sad caricature of the ugly American sitting in the captain's chair right now...

16 September 2003


I can't do anything but link to Tom Tomorrow's masterpiece this week. You'll have to do all the heavy lifting and get a Salon day pass (if you don't already subscribe, that is) to take a look at it; but it's worth the effort!

I can show you this cartoon:

Lies and the lying liars who tell them

Which pretty much talks about the same thing I've been going on about (and this time we get to ironically paraphrase the Muscleheaded Black Plowman's own previously scripted words) : Killian the BFEE the Media Whores They are all lying to you!

15 September 2003

Required Reading

And, it is a long one, too. The Conservative Media will be slamming this or yawning a lot. But this Krugman must read (warning:free NYTimes subscription required) ties up all the pieces so that the average moderate can make sense of what the BFEE is trying to do. There will be gratuitous praise for various parts of it strewn in the ramblings here from time to time.

Liberal Oasis comes through with a most excellent analysis of the Conservative Media and their spinning with a few of the Felonious FReeper Ditto Monkeys. Er, excuse me. Ditto Monkeys-in-Chief, thankyouverymuch,sir.

And, uggabugga nails Pencil Dick to the wall while showing us how easily Tim the Catholic Russert (R - Accessory to Abomination) kept setting them up on the tee for Cheney.

And that's as close as I can get to all the dren going on in the Conservative Media without hurling. I would ask that any of you within eyeshot of this missive, and earshot of my father, to plead with him. He often watches shows like Meet the Press, This Week, and the rest of the Sunday Morning Adult Cartoons, ahem, religiously. Tell him that they are feeding him, and everyone else, a humongous helping of kimchee, with some steaming horse-hockey on the side. Ugs and the Oasis rip things apart, piece by piece, so you can see how badly the American people are getting played, by both the people staging these events, and the actors themselves.

I also tried to get through watching Don Rumsfeldo's Excellent TV Adventure on PBS the other day. He danced and dodged so transparently, I wondered how anyone can buy into one second of his crap?

Then, the memory came again, unbidden. A memory of a moment in time. A skit from Saturday Night Live, about the debates leading up to the 1988 election. John Lovitz (as Dukakis) says to the camera, about Dana Carvey (as Bush): "I can't believe I'm losing to this guy", after Carvey had just finished a minute of meaningless generalities including the famous 'Thousand Points of Light' quote a few times.

Many could not believe what had happened in America. Yet again, it seemed to them - just after RayGunAweMics, the Keating Five (starring Kneel Bush!), and the BCCI scandals (starring various and sundry within the BFEE) had hit the fan. And the Iran Contra coverup was being pushed by the fledgling Conservative Media. And we saw the visage of Colonel Oliver North, that paragon of the 'new' military, smiling and saying "All I did was lie to Congress". It wasn't bad enough, for Jeebus' sakes, to see a commissioned military officer freely admit to an illegal act. No, we got to see him revel in it.

And then we got BFEE Version 2.0 PapaDoc Bush for four years (after eight years of BFEE Version 1.0 RayGunAweMics. Who was that veep who used to be the head of the CIA again? And the guys shaking hands in this picture? While who looked the other way while who else engaged in doing some old-fashioned 'ethnic cleansing'?

And now we get BFEE Version 3.0 BabyDoc Bush. And we get to hear Ollie Frelling North on talk radio, talking about how unpatriotic it is to question the word of a known liar. Sphincter says what?

14 September 2003

Sunday Morning Funnies

The fingers are a little tongue-tied this morning (and, yes, I do take my mixed metaphors with my Sunday morning coffee, thank you very much!), so I'll just link to a couple of cartoons that tickled my funny bone this morning, along with one I have been laughing at all week. Enjoy!

Free? Trade
Whistle Ass AWOL action figure
Whistle Ass Pretends to beg