The Funny Farm Fry(with a Why?)day Top Five Posts of the Week

Thursday December 4, 2003 _Gregorian
Fryday 10 ForeYule, 2003 _Hobbit

[. . . Bill runs out of a house, and down into a path by a river. The path runs into a stand of trees, and we watch Bill run down the path through the woods. Cut to desk. Faux Python announcer* is sitting behind the desk, and says, And Now, For Something Completely Different... Then he springs aside as Bill runs into the clearing and sits down behind the desk. Faux Python announcer* perches in the branches behind the desk, and watches from behind as Bill picks up a piece of paper on the desk, and announces to the camera (talking very fast)...] This is the Ghost of Bill Sprint with the Funny Farm Fry(with a Why?)day Top Five Posts of the Week: Number Five - Counterspin's The Sun'll Come Out, Samarra; Number Four - Print Think's A Winter of Discontent; Number Three - Hullabaloo's Bling Bling; Number Two - Cup O’ Joe's The Old In-Out; And the Number One Posts this Week - Body and Soul's More on the Texas Miracle, Calpundit's The Texas Miracle, and Pharyngula's Every Child Left Behind. This has been the Ghost of Bill Sprint with the Funny Farm Fry(with a Why?)day Top Five Posts of the Week. [... Bill gets up from desk, then runs off screen as Faux Python announcer* jumps down, then saunters back behind desk and begins to announce next news item as camera fades...]

* - The Faux Python Announcer is loosely defined as, but not limited to, any of the cast of Monty Python who used to pretend they were news announcers. Of course, the one that John Cleese did that said the catch phrase (and Movie Title here in North America all those years ago) is the one that immediately springs to my mind.

Random guerilla blogging almost certainly will not be taking place on the weekends until next year. It’s not like we have some occult pagan rituals to attend to. More of an avoidance, and minimizing of the effects, of some of the more outlandishly fundamentalist versions of festival. For example, I would most certainly not be watching any play about the Nativity. Or a Gibsonesque Crusader Catholic piece of Speculative Fiction. However, the churlish story of a Miserable Failure seems to be all that’s coming in on my TV these days. Thank goodness This Hour Has 22 Minutes is going to be on tomorrow night.

See you next week!

Big Mistake

I happened to catch five minutes of the pill popping dope fiend Rush Limbaugh after lunch today, and now my digestive system is all twisted in knots. The vulgar PigBoy decided today to put some words into Senator Kerry's mouth (which he never said, and never would have said), and then mock him for the position he never would have taken in the first place. This is what passes for rational discourse coming from the mainstream media.

Maybe I'm still sick from watching Spammity and Clown last night on the Daily Show, too. Except they just left a bad taste in my mouth, instead of a pain in my tummy. Maybe my brain hurts from trying to make some sense out of Talent on Loan From Hilbilly Heroin today. Any way you slice it, I think I'll pass on listening to the wild inaccuracies spewing from El Chupa Cabra. At least, until we have something to do at the Rush Limbaugh Transcripts site.

Good News on the Home Front

I just got word from my cousin – her mom (my mom’s sister) is okay after undergoing a mastectomy to try and fight the cancer she was diagnosed with earlier this year. Best wishes for a speedy recovery go out to my aunt Louise in the hopes of seeing you sometime soon in a non-hospital setting.

Also, I should be calling Brother Drew regarding my niece’s recovery (which I first mentioned here), and other sundry business taking place here at the Funny Farm.

I also have to apologize to anyone who has been trying to call lately – I have an old portable phone, and it doesn’t sit in the charger properly sometimes. When that happens, it keeps the line open, and inaccessible to the general public (I don’t have voice mail, or any of the more exotic phone options available these days. So if I’m on the phone, the line is busy). So, to brother Joe, who was probably vainly calling all night long, I am truly sorry. The phone will be no more of a problem ever again fairly shortly – I’m pretty sure next year (especially when it’s so close now), but the way things are these days, uncertainty seems to be too prominent a variable in the equation. If you know what I mean.

And, it’s time to get my act together, and face that working day once again. I hope that you manage to find a way to take a little extra time you don’t have today, and just enjoy yourself.

Also, The Ghost of Bill Sprint^TM is due to show up at the Funny Farm any time now. Stay tuned for furthur developments...

Pop Quiz For The Rest Of My Family

How would you react if I said this to you?

I would never let my children be taught by a Christian. They would teach my children to accept their Christian point of view, and they would try to force their Christian agenda on my kids. The next thing you know, my kids would be Christians – then they’d be molesting little children like all those Christians do.

Yes, that’s a rhetorical question. I’m pretty sure I know how you would react (yes, Joe, I have seen you roll your eyes when I start talking about The Great Satan your preferred set of pagan occult rituals the Catholic church). Just like most people who are religious would react, too.

The only problem is that, if you were to change the word Christian to the word homosexual (or queer, or gay, etc.), the statement I made would be coming from you!

Maybe you can understand why this hypocritical ‘logic’ disturbs me. It doesn’t sound good no matter who you target.

(disclaimer: I am a male of the species who is not, nor ever has been, interested in having sex with a member of my own sex. I like girls! But I can’t stand hypocrites.)

(additional observation: Does it bother anybody else that I have to say I’m not gay, to my own family, just because I defend gays?)

Do As We Say, Not As We Do

Am I hearing this correctly? One of the Media Whores is getting upset because Howard Dean is sealing his files while he was governor of Vermont? After pResident Yellow Stain has already sealed his records for longer than the length of time Dean is proposing? And Dean's records aren't allowed to be released until after the 2004 election under the current rules anyhow?

Can we ask why the Media Whores aren't looking into the Coward in Chief's files? Or ask why they need to be sealed for far longer than is normal? Or ask why Ronnie Ray-Gun's and PapaDoc Bush's records are still unavailable to the public, long after they were supposed to be released? (disclaimer: some of the records have been released, after an attempt by BabyDoc Bush to keep them sealed) I guess we're still allowed to ask, as long as we don't mind never hearing an answer to the question. And we're in one of those Suppression of Free Speech First Amendment Zones. And we don't mind being harassed for asking.

There has been so much of this blatant hypocrisy going on since Smirky McWarHardon and the God Squad usurped power in 2000, that an industry devoted to just collecting it would revitalize the economy. If you were to also include positions created to analyze and publish the results of that analysis, I bet you could put food on hundreds of families! Anybody care to ask Bill Bennett about the odds on that bet?

Yellow Belly Freepertrash

Is there any other kind? Some supporters of pResident Yellow Stain have resorted to accusing me of being a member of NAMBLA because of the URL for this blog (kid69.blogspot.com). This is so comical – Ditto Monkeys literally grasping at straws because they are almost as cowardly as the usurper who got his handlers to steal the White House for him!

Maybe one of these days they will have rational arguments in support of the Cowardly Lyin’. And maybe one day, monkeys will fly out of my butt. (Party on Wayne! Garth, I hope you can live with your whoring for the GropenFuhrer)

Anyways,. . . it is time to come back. Many things have transpired personally since I talked to you last, faithful readers. Over the fullness of time ye shall hear of them. In the meantime, I gots an OSP post to put together. Hope you enjoyed your Turkey Day as much as I did!