24 May 2003

More Quality Canadian Content for Your Viewing Pleasure

For those of you who cannot remember those long lost glory days of the eighties, when greed and the BFEE were still thought to have positive aspects to them - I have a perspective on those days which is somewhat unusual, and possibly instructive, to some of my tens of readers out there. During those heady days, I was a Disc Jockey in the wilds of the Great White North. I actually did a schtick for a while as, like, Tom McKenzie, Bob and Doug’s little brother, eh? I was going to Hoser U, you see, and started riffing in that Canajun patois about campus life and the usual inane dren that you get into while going through college. I ostensibly received my degree for Mathematics, but I really learned how to make a radio show listened to with cult-like (cough) devotion (cough cough) by tens of people. Then I learned how to lug around and set up equipment, and play gigs for 50 – 500 people. Any kind of party, wedding, or event you can think of. In metro Toronto.

But that’s a story for another time. Right now, the salient fact relevant to the conversation is: that's when I started to check out Aislin. I’d like to show you some prime Canadian content from his pen. Enjoy!

Qualified Canadian Graffitti
Israel’s Department of Dirty Tricks
Summertime and the living is queasy
Some people want him gone

Also, currently running at This Modern World for your viewing pleasure, the tag team of Tom Tomorrow and Bob Harris. Actually, they've been co-blogging like this for a while now, and it has been working out extremely well in my opinion. Today, in particular, Bob gives us a beautiful capsule summary of the imbecilic ignorance of most Americans common fallacies held by most Americans regarding the whole religious situation in the Islamic world. He got one of the analogies wrong when he says:

To review:
Most Sunnis consider Salafis perhaps the way a Quaker regards Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.

he means:
Most Salafis consider Sunnis perhaps the way a Quaker regards Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.

Shhh. It will be our little secret. Unless Bob Harris actually reads the Funny Farm... or until somebody else points it out to him.

23 May 2003

Who’s Writing This Script?

The NHL playoffs this year are of a particularly fine vintage, as far as the editorial staff here at the Funny Farm is concerned. Some stellar performances have already been put forth, and some amazing stories have been told.

The team that was named for a movie is actually living a plot line fronm one of the movies, as the Mighty Ducks of Anaheim head into the finals. On the way, they swept the second seed, and defending Stanley Cup champion, four games to nada. Then they beat the first seed four games to two. Then, their goalie, who might already have earned the Conn Smythe trophy this year, gave up one goal in four games, as they swept the conference final series against another cinderella team from Minnesota. Now, they’ve had ten days of rest – the longest break in NHL history - before having to face their opponents next Tuesday. And right now, I’m hearing somebody singing an ode in praise of the Ducks on the TeeVee. Ack!

Right now, it is the end of the second period of the seventh game between the Ottawa Senators and the New Jersey Devils. These two teams are trying to get to the finals to face Anaheim. New Jersey leads by a score of two to one. And these two teams have made it this far in interesting fashion as well.

Ottawa may have come close to averting bankruptcy for their new owner by making it to the conference finals. They had problems meeting their payroll requirements around the beginning of the calendar year. So, their story is a little unusual, too – how often has a league-leading franchise teetered on the edge of bankruptcy for most of the year?

New Jersey is a perennial candidate for the Cup as well. Martin Brodeur is arguably the best goalie in the NHL today. If he’s not, then he’s definitely in the top five, and has been every year for the last ten. He wants another ring this year. Scott Stevens is getting old, and he wants another ring, too. They gots some scorers, an awesome defense, and then, if you can make it past all of that, there’s that Brodeur guy. He has won a few games for them this year. New Jersey is the closest thing to a dynasty that the NHL has had over the last decade or so.

Well – tonight’s game is over. The New Jersey Devils will be vying with Anaheim for the Stanley Cup. This is going to be frelling awesome! I hope you manage to catch some of it. It's been a good year so far - there have been a large number of shutouts during this playoff season, and a lot of overtime games. At least six players on one of the teams (Minnesota) are having major surgery, now that their team had been eliminated from the playoffs, for the injuries they have been during their run to the Cup. The threat of a strike in 2004 looms large over the whole league. And yet the game is still going strong. And Jean Chretien announced on a national TV broadcast in Canada - on one of the highest rated shows on Canadian TV, I might add - that he used to be a "goaler" when he played hockey. Ladies and gentlemen, goalies have somewhat of a reputation, in the hockey world, of being a little bit, well, the word would be eccentric, except I'm not rich enough to be able to use that word. Let's just say that they are the Dennis Rodman's and Bill (Spaceman) Lee's of their sport. Let's also just say it's a good thing that Cretin Chretien is retiring soon

Also, by the way, viewing professional sports is the main reason the idiot box is hooked into a local cable service provider in my house. Otherwise, I could rent DVDs and/or VHS tapes, and not even bother with the rest of it. Sure, the music videos are pretty cool. And I used to like some of the series on the tube. But it’s not worth it just for the Daily Show and the Simpsons. Don’t even get me started on the mainstream and media whore infotainment feeds. But – a sporting event in one of football, hockey, and basketball is worth a look. Generally speaking. And the playoffs in all three, along with the NCAA tournament and the college football bowl games, are must see TV here at the Funny Farm. And that’s about it these days.

Lack of reality TV is unbelievably rancid, right wing political shows are incredibly intolerant, as well as being so biased to be almost comical. Yeah, right, McCain is a liberal. So is Voinovich, and Specter. You guys go on sniffing that ether. And Rush Limbaugh, Bill O’Reilly, Michael Savage, and Joe Scarborough rule the airwaves, at the very least in their own minds. They seem to be able to parrot the latest Repugnicant blast fax talking points well enough.

And, that’s one of the worst aspects of all of this. It is very difficult to ignore the tripe pouring forth from the Conservative Media. They own almost every medium of communication. And they are unafraid to inundate us with their message, whether we want it or not.

Ah, well – so the glass is half full, my friends, to us here at the Funny Farm. It has been a glorious season of playoff hockey, and I look forward to an exciting final series. Catch you all later...

Riddle Me This

Note:Thanks and all praise to my compatriot in the metro Detroit zone of Blogistan, Hesiod, for leading me to the videos discussed in this post. You can read his report on what happened at Rockford College. The videos I downloaded and watched came from the video of Chris Hedges’ speech link in the Update section of his post.

I just got done watching the first two parts of a video of somebody just ripping into the junta during a commencement speech. I’m going to steel myself, and listen to the next two while writing this. Because some people started chanting, they unhooked the sound system, and they have (so far) hurled insults and threats towards the person giving the speech. They just generally seem to be causing a disturbance at the event.

Now, the subject of the speech is war, our lack of understanding of what we are doing right now in the world, and how America’s current course of action looks to him as though we are ruining ourselves. I think he was trying to suggest ways to fix the problem, but I couldn’t hear them because he was shouted over by these people. It was a boring commencement speech, a lot like hundreds of others that day. Mostly.

These dissenters have ruined the graduation event for their own kids! Yes, there were some who applauded the speaker afterwards, and the remarks made about free speech. But there were a significant minority causing a disturbance, and no effort to restrain them by the rest of the crowd. The tape also lets you hear an awful lot of the dissenting opinions of those trying to stop the speech from being heard. And how their dissenting opinions were loudly and intrusively heard by the rest of the people trying to hear what the speaker had to say.

Watching this video, it just feels awful funny to me. I didn’t see these protesters being rounded up, threatened with expulsion and/or denial of their degree. I didn’t see a rabid cheerleading section, which, if you look closely at several events over time, seems to consist of the exact same people every time. I actually saw a protest disturbing a peaceful event, and marring it. Oh – that’s right. The words coming from the podium make sense, and need to be said. And it’s not that damn sock puppet mangling them this time, either.

The reality of the situation is that there will always be people like this in any society. They would have been in charge of the lynch mob (and the sheep dip) anytime else in history. With the possible exception of the previous century from time to time, and place to place. Most reasonable individuals tend to leave them be. It is hoped that, if you minimize your dealings with this type of person, you will be okay, they will self-destruct, and life will go on. Some who are almost as vicious as these people, and are responsible for the same sort of disturbance at events with a stridently conservative tone, would seek to eradicate their counterparts on the other side. Just as the fanatics on that side if the fence would like to do to their counterparts. And the rest of us hope that no crabs will manage to make it out of that particular bucket.

There are also those who do not agree with what is being said, but choose to protest peacefully. Without disturbing others, who may agree with what is being said. Who choose to leave the building while the offensive speech is taking place. Who turn their back on what is being said. Who choose creative and peaceful means to get the point across. As long as they aren’t forcing their opinions to be heard and/or agreed with, shouldn’t this be within the limits of acceptable behavior?

Anyways, . . . enough biting political discourse from the Funny Farm. Have yourselves a good Memorial Day weekend, if you are in that rarefied atmosphere which gives you the divine right to celebrate this holiday. Maybe you can try to remember those heady days, when life was easier, and we had someone who was actually elected sitting in the Oval Office. I know it’s hard to remember those days, what with all the media hypocrisy and lies, and aWol McDumbAss swaggering around like a tin-plated dictator with delusions of godhood. But give it a try. It’ll be good for ya. . .

22 May 2003

A Few More Before I Go

US military might - the facts. Did you know that the U.S. is responsible for 40 percent of the world’s military spending?

Young Eric the Hamster (as opposed to Eric the Half a Bee) is returning to his digs in Blogistan with a vengeance. From him we hear about the new McCartyhism.

Then I found this article through various nefarious means (in other words, I can’t remember who to thank for pointing me to it) about Canadians having to be escorted to their cars after a Devils-Senators hockey game. The article points out an earlier incident when some American kids got hassled by some Canadian kids while they were playing at a tournament in Montreal. There were also comments about the Habs game with the Isles that night, when they booed them, and comments about a war protest in Montreal that weekend by some college kids.

I show you where to find out stuff. You read, then decide.

Some Shameless Plugs and an Update

Amazingly enough, talking about my coding hangups has helped me to overcome them, and get my work schedule back on track. And has allowed me to focus (cough) on trying to write once again. So here goes.

As you may be aware, I have been involved in the Rush Limbaugh transcripts project. Well, a few weeks ago, our main transcriber got in a car accident, and was lying in the critical care zone at her local place of medicine. I think she’s back with us, but I’m not sure yet, and of course I haven’t had time to look into that particular can of worms. Or I haven’t been able to find the time.

So, last night, I get a call from my Ma (it actually sounds more like ’me Mum’ here at the Funny Farm) last night. She informed me that my Pa is doing okay and is continuing to be monitored after the mini-stroke he had earlier this year. And then added to the heap by telling me that my aunt has been diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer. She noticed a discoloration, and that was that. No lumps, no pain, nothing. So, my thoughts and good karma are directed towards my aunt Louise right now. Won’t you spin your prayer wheels, or do whatever it is you do in whatever occult ritual you engage in, on her behalf, for me?

And now, for something completely different...

Actually, my certificate says I'm an honorary Viking!States rights?  We don't need no steenking States rights!

21 May 2003

Ohhhh – Now I get it!

In the War on Terror, so far, we’ve had the Battle of Afghanistan, and the Battle of Iraq. And we’re going to have more Battles around the globe until we cause “eradicate” terror?

In the words of Jon Stewart, Whaaa???

Where oh where is Dubyaman when you need him?

Double Dubya

20 May 2003

An Aislin Gallery For Your Viewing Pleasure

Yappier than Don Cherry

The truth about the marijuana law

Road Map

A threat to America?

Talking about a Hard Sell...

Just in case you were wondering, Paul Cellucci is the current United States Chief Scold Ambassador to Canada. You know, in case you weren't an informed American, and weren't aware of any of his recent activities officially representing the U.S., or perhaps the controversy surrounding his original appointment. Then again, maybe you could check it out for yourselves, too!

Working for a Living

Business matters are draining my energies at the present time, and preventing me from focusing on my writing skills (or lack thereof).

Riddle me this: I can’t explain it myself. I’ve tried learning a number of languages without success. Well, I can swear fairly effectively in at least three languages, but beyond that I get lost. And yet, I know at least four computer languages and have the utmost confidence that I will be able to pick up another half dozen before I’m through with my career. And I have heard about people who know multiple languages, but still have problems with anything to do with computers, much less learning DOS or assembler (which nobody knows or learns anymore, by the way, I just had to use them because they are names that are more easily recognizable to many of my dozens of readers.-

So anyhow – I am currently processing a lot of code in my place of business, and so my muse is more concerned with that aspect of my existence at present. I have managed to make a few updates on the Rush Limbaugh transcripts mirror I’m maintaining. But, you probably won’t hear too much from me in the next little while. Hopefully some hard work now will translate to more time without the job foremost in my thoughts in the future.

And, of course, there has been some rejoicing at the Funny Farm of late. Ari Fork Tongue is slinking out of DC and back into the corpo-weasel sector, some people walked out on Little Ricky when they gave him a Doctorate in Homophobia at some pagan organization, and either the Media Whores don’t feel they’re being paid enough, or they’ve decided that they can’t shill for the junta anymore, or something. Because some of the mainstream has been exposed to the kind of information that has been a staple here in Blogistan. There are rumblings of discontent amongst the masses. Even more than usual.

On the other hand, the United States government now resembles any of the various large corporations I, or friends and business associates, have worked at. They’re reorganizing two or three times a year, and not focusing on the problems confronting the organization. The upper management is ripping the company off blind, and anyone who stumbles onto it is either bought off or eliminated from the organization. And as things get to be too public to cover up anymore, the corpo-weasels flee before they can get caught. All of the rank and file are too busy trying to keep on operating the company, reporting to new bosses, changing their work habits to conform to the new boss’ preferences, and fighting the pressure of outperforming continually increasing expectations in order to keep your job.

And us rank and filers have to focus their life on keeping the company floating, while the executroids take golf weekends on the company dime. Does any of this ring any bells out there? Maybe now you understand why the Irony Overload siren is busted. And why it’s just not worth it to fix the frelling thing.

18 May 2003

A Quick Message to our Brethren in the Great White North

Like, how’s it goin’, eh?

Like, I would like to wish you all the best, eh, on your Victoria Day holiday tomorrow, eh? Like, I believe it is known in some of the, like, cooler parts of town, as the May Two Four weekend, eh? So, like, make sure you get to the local purveyor of, like, spirits, eh, before you, like, get too loaded, eh? And, like, have lots of fun too, eh?

It also appears that I will be unable to get to your neck of the woods until this time next month, not next weekend as I originally planned. Scheduling problems and previous commitments not realized when emailing you earlier have caused us to be busy during the Memorial Day weekend. And possibly hung over as all get out and generally unsociable Memorial Day as well. Such is the burden life thrusts upon one’s shoulders at times.

And now, time for a cartoon...

Are we secure yet?

And time to watch some Pistons basketball. So take it easy, one and all...