07 December 2002

The Conservative Media

War is peace
Freedom is slavery
Ignorance is strength

Let’s review the current situation today, class:

- The Conservative News Network, Faux News, Conservative NBC, Microsoft NBC, Conservative SPAN, and all their offshoots are all owned by conservatives. When your boss tells you to spin things a certain way, what do you do (if you want to keep on working there)?
- Pigboy (aka Rush Limbaugh), Laura the Whore Schlesinger, their clones, Tim the Catholic Russert, The Wall Street Journal, the Washington Moonie Times, and Bowtie Boy (aka) Tucker Carlson) and No Facts (aka Bob Novak) are all far right-wing media outlets. When one of them spins a lie (for example, that Al Gore claims he invented the internet), the rest are spouting the same lie within 48 hours. They do not check the accuracy of their stories on a regular basis, as every aspiring journalist is taught to do.
- The New York Times, the Los Angeles Times, James Carville and Paul Begala on Crossfire, Bill Moyers, Bill Press, and BartCop are all centrist to moderately right-wing. They acknowledge that a liberal point of view which is reasonable exists, and in some cases, actually let you know what that point of view is. When you hear them tell you something, more often than not (but not always) they have researched it.
- There is no liberal media. Any major media outlet that shows even a hint of mentioning a liberal point of view intending to establish that it is reasonable and valid is immediately and savagely attacked by the far right-wing media outlets. Try and disagree with Pigboy on his show, and see how long it is before you are ’squelched’ (your voice is muted, and Pigboy starts spinning things off into Fascist-land) and ridiculed.
- The last true liberal on-air voice, Alan Berg, was machine-gunned to death in his driveway by radical right-wing elements in 1984. The authorities, coincidentally, did nothing to find his killers until they started threatening the conservative elite.
- The current squatter, Drinky McDumbAss, deserted a cushy position flying obsolete fighter jets in Texas in the Air National Guard for over a year because he was too coked up to pass his medical. He subsequently pleaded no contest to a charge of ‘Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol’ in Maine in 1976. Pencil Dick Cheney, the squatter in the Veep’s house, had two DWI convictions in the ‘60s.
- The rest of the junta usurping the executive branch of our government are retread criminals from the Reagan and Bush administrations. One of the first things BabyDoc did when the Supreme Court installed him in the Oval Orifice was to seal the records of RayGun’s and PapDoc’s administration to hide their criminal acts from the public.
- BabyDoc also pioneered Enron-style accounting practices, and made his first million in this manner. He later bought a part of the Texas Rangers, funded their stadium upgrade with tax dollars, and then made a huge profit on his investment.

These are just a few of the highlights of the shenanigans going on in the corridors of power today. I could turn this post into anything from a full length essay to a major novel. But my Ma wants to take my Sig-O and myself to lunch today. I’ve got my priorities, you know…

Now, break off into discussion groups. Read the linked articles, and discuss them within the group. Is this a vast left-wing conspiracy at work here? Is it treasonous to question the integrity of our (s)elected pResident? Is it more dangerous to our nation’s security to have an arrogant lying drunken cokehead deserter in charge of things, or an adulterous womanizer?

I show you where to look for stuff. You decide.

06 December 2002

Look at all the Pretty Colors!

As you may have noticed by now, this is an experiment in html by your Humble Narrator. I am playing around with the color scheme right now. More play with web page setup and other goodies will be forthcoming.

Would you rather I point out some of the crap that's going on these days? I didn't think so...

05 December 2002

A Note to Ann Slanders

It's a slow and painful week here at the Funny Farm. Too much snow, too much cold, and not enough creative juices flowing. Maybe all that crap emanating from Drinky McDumbAss and the rest of the junta has caused my intellectual drought. Then again, maybe it's a good thing I don't have to actually earn a living as a writer...

Anyways,... I just wrote a note to Ann Slanders. Since it represents a large slice of my independent thought for the last little while, I figured I might as well put it here:

What is the Sound of one Hand Clapping?

Hey John!

I know you are a professional writer and as such your musings are usually good enough that they pay you for them. But - even though you have unwittingly left my birthday at the top of your weblog since the 39th anniversary of JFK's assassination by the emerging corporate monolith - out here at the Funny Farm the lack of postings on your site is disconcerting.

Having no journalistic integrity whatsoever I plan on shamelessly posting this note to you on my weblog as well as depositing it in your emailbox. Besides, I can't think of anything else to say. I've started a couple of blog entries, but I can't even manage to get past the second paragraph. Some would blame this on some sort of writer's block (if a non-writer could ever be accused of such a thing). I can however conveniently point elsewhere. So the New Flying Fickle Finger of FateTM has been oriented towards you! I can almost feel your pain over this sad turn of events...

Anyways,... Allyson has distracted me, and it's time to get ready for my day job anyhow. Hopefully this gentle nudge will inspire you to inspire the rest of us. Take it easy, my friend. I hope to see some of your thoughts again soon.

With tongue planted firmly in cheek, and warm regards to you and yours...

03 December 2002

Jerry Falwell is a Big Fat Liar

With homage to Al Franken for suggesting the title of this post (if you haven't read it yet, go find Rush Limbaugh is a Big Fat Idiot at your local bookstore), and thanks to my friends Stu and Mary who sent me a copy of this article:

Is Jerry Falwell a Liar? By Jerry Sloan

For over 25 years the Rev. Jerry Falwell has been spewing forth his "gospel" of misinformation and vindictiveness over the radio and TV airwaves. His latest venture in his chosen occupation of TV huckster (If I take two Vegematics, will you throw in a set of Ginsu knives?) is a vitriolic attack on President and Mrs. Clinton. It is done through an hour-long informercial in which he hustles two video tapes accusing the President of a variety of crimes.While many have accused Falwell of stretching the truth or outright lies, a confrontation occurred ten years ago that set in motion a lawsuit which would prove in two courts of law that Jerry Falwell is not a man of his word.It was Friday, July 13, 1984. Jerry Falwell, who was riding high as the head of the Moral Majority, appeared in person on a live talk show, "Look Who's Talking," produced by Sacramento's KCRA-TV. I was in the studio audience.During a broadcast of the "Old Time Gospel Hour" on March 11, 1984, Falwell spoke about the predominantly gay Metropolitan Community Church, of which I am a former minister:"But these things speak evil of those things, verse 10 [reading from Jude] which they know not: but what they know naturally, as brute beasts, in those things they corrupt themselves. Look at the Metropolitan Community Church today, the gay church, almost accepted into the World Council of Churches. Almost, the vote was against them. But they will try again and again until they get in, and the tragedy is that they would get one vote. Because they are spoken of here in Jude as being brute beasts, that is going to the baser lust of the flesh to live immorally, and so Jude describes this as apostasy. But thank God this vile and satanic system will one day be utterly annihilated and there'll be a celebration in heaven."Falwell became infuriated when I tried to question him about his statement. He repeatedly denied making it, saying it was "a lie." When I said I had a tape of the statement, Falwell countered by saying he would pay me $5,000 if I could produce such a tape.The following Wednesday I took two audio tapes to the KCRA-TV studio. One was a tape I had made as the "Old Time Gospel Hour" was broadcast in Sacramento. The second tape was produced by the "Old Time Gospel Hour" itself and obtained by sending $4.00. KCRA-TV did a follow-up by playing portions of the tapes related to my accusations and concluded Falwell had been quoted accurately and probably owed me $5,000.My attorney sent a letter to Falwell telling him he could find the statement on his "Old Time Gospel Hour" audio tape #590 and to please send a check for $5,000 by return mail. Through an "Old Time Gospel Hour" attorney, Falwell continued to deny making the statement and accused me and KCRA of tampering with the tapes. He refused to pay.On November 30, 1984, Falwell returned to Sacramento on a fundraising junket. Two hours prior to Falwell's landing at the Sacramento airport, I filed a lawsuit through my attorney, Rosemary Metrailer, in municipal court against Falwell for breach of an oral contract. He was greeted by the Sacramento press corps and a process server as he alighted from his multi-million-dollar shiny red, white, and blue private jet. The next day the front-page headline in The Sacramento Union read, "A bad day for Jerry Falwell."The trial was eventually presided over by municipal court judge Michael S. Ullman, who heard the case because the assigned judge was engaged in another trial. It was unique in that both sides agreed there was no need for witnesses as everything in dispute was contained on several hundred feet of TV and audio tape.During the course of preparing for the trial, I suggested to Metrailer that there was a similarity between this case and that of the Holocaust revisionist Institute for Historical Review in Los Angeles, who offered $50,000 to anyone who could prove the Holocaust actually happened. When presented the proof, the organization reneged on its offer and refused to pay. A lawsuit was filed and the Institute was ordered to pay the $50,000. Metrailer told me the case was not a precedent for this jurisdiction, but she would use it. If Falwell's attorney, Weldon Reeves, didn't object, it would stand. Unfortunately, Reeves caught it, objected, and the judge sustained the objection and threw it out.Judge Ullman decided the case in my favor in an unusual — for municipal courts — seven-page opinion.That should have been the end of it but Falwell didn't want to give up the $5,000 without further fight. He chose to appeal and through his attorney made an astounding accusation that during the trial Metrailer tried to appeal to Judge Ullman's "sympathy and prejudice" by citing the Institute for Historical Review case. Just before the trial Judge Ullman revealed he was Jewish by stating that he hoped the trial would not take more than one day as he wanted to spend the next day with his family celebrating Rosh Hashanah. In essence they were asserting that Judge Ullman was Jewish and prejudiced against Falwell, a gentile. Rabbi David Saperstein of the Union of American Hebrew Congregations said:"The contention that a Jewish judge will be swayed by a precedent of law based on a case that involved Jews or Jewish concerns is an irresponsible legal assertion and an outrageous moral affront to our judiciary system and the Jewish people."The appellate court found Falwell's appeal to be "wholly frivolous and totally without merit." It also ordered him to pay additional sanctions (money) for wasting the court's valuable time. He had no ground for further appeal. Finally in September of 1986, he sent me a check for $8982.90. The endorsement on the check admonished me not to call a press conference and gloat.A portion of the money was used to help open the Lambda Community Center as a resource for the gay and lesbian people of Sacramento. The Lambda Center has a room dedicated to Falwell. It was a closet and is now a toilet.As stated earlier, it has been proven in not one but two courts of law that Jerry Falwell reneges on his word, lies about what he has said, and is not above using slimy tactics, even if they cause him to appear anti-Jewish.Falwell has a documented record of making statements then dodging and denying he said them. Why would anyone give an iota of credence to anything he propagates? This certainly speaks to the character of Falwell and reminds one of certain injunctions in the inerrant scriptures he claims to believe, such as not judging others, looking after motes and beams in one's own eye before worrying about others, and speaking the truth in love. It also reminds us that it is indeed difficult for the leopard to change its spots.Jerry Sloan attended Baptist Bible College in Springfield, Missouri, with Jerry Falwell. He and Marghe Covino head the California-based Project Tocsin, a group which researches the religious right. Copyright 1994 Jerry Sloan.

© 1998 Institute for First Amendment Studies, Inc.

That's right, folks - for almost 20 years now it has been on record that Jerry Falwell lost a lawsuit because he lied on TV. Can somebody tell me why (i) this isn't common knowledge; and (ii) why anyone thinks this racist homophobe lying hypocrite should still be any kind of minister? Maybe the Minister of Propaganda - but not a minister of any kind of religious group that preaches "God's love"!

I would also like any reason at all to watch any of the propaganda spewing from the Conservative MediaTM. Please submit your suggestions (no profanity, please - that means YOU, FreeperTrash, Ditto-Monkeys and L-Dotards!) in 25 words or less to the email address in the top left hand zone of the page.

By the way - Rush Limbaugh IS a Big Fat Idiot.