08 March 2003

An Amazingly Cool Idea

Neal Pollack suggests A Day Without Satire this April Fool’s Day. Which could prove interesting if he can get a bunch of cartoonists to answer the call with some interesting art to celebrate the day. Then, you’d see only the real sadistic April Fool’s jokes. Maybe they’ll find another Mexican murdered by border militias. Or something.

Boy, out next few holidays seem to be shaping up to be fun, no? A St. Patrick’s Day Massacre and pResident Pinhead is This Year’s April Fool Day. Be still my beating heart…


Two events of note happened over the past few days:

I went to get something done, and waited until I could get to a service rep. And I overhear a discussion with some guy to his son - they’re waiting as well. They are talking about which gas stations use Iraqi oil – to avoid filling up at them. And a number of comments were made to indicate that these people were dissatisfied with the junta - and the scales were coming off their eyes, so to speak. And I could not believe how good I felt to see someone else who actually gets it. . .

One of my co-workers came by after watching the dog and pony show pResidential T-Ball tourney news conference, and told me he could not believe what he heard from Mr. Never Worked a Day in his Life. Repetition of the same dodges to all the softballs being tossed. But then – firmly stating that it did not suggest a conservative bias at all! In fact, he thinks that the media is currently quite liberal! I tried to point out the obvious bias the media lapdogs have had for pResident Pinhead but he wouldn’t even admit that it was part of the landscape.

A lot of people in my current place of employ are frightfully concerned about their career employment paths lasting beyond the end of the month (cough). Especially since the turn of the Moron millenium. That seems almost like a far off dream of better days to me somehow. . .

Especially after listening to a solid, oh, seven and half minutes of El ChupaCabra the other day. How this bloated bilge-pump can come up with some of the crap I get to record for posterity:

. . .So the story comes out today. The story comes out in the Washington Post today. Clinton, Dole ready for 120 seconds. And, I’m gonna go through the whole thing here, parse by parse here in just a second, but let me, let me just get to the, um, the relevant paragraphs of the story, that have to do with the back and forth email I had with the writer of the story, Howard Kurtz.

Asked if it was unseemly for a former president who has such a high TV profile, and to criticize president Bush. Clinton said, it’s a matter of public record that he has expressed my differences with the current administration on such issues as the Kyoto global warming treaty.

And then Clinton said, if I get up, and tie my shoes in the morning somebody criticizes me. This will enable Rush Limbaugh to help raise another forty five million dollars for groups I don’t agree with. Limbaugh, who says he almost never engages in fundraising, was quick to slam Clinton on his radio show.

And Kurtz quotes me as saying this: The stuff people really want to hear Bill Clinton address will not even be brought up. Juanita Brodderick, uh, North Korea, contempt of court citations. This is just more of the Bill Clinton rehabilitation legacy tour, Limbaugh said. Then the next paragraph: former Clinton spokesman Joe Lockhart said Limbaugh should keep his mouth shut.

And the - the debates are just one way to continue being part of the public service system. In addition to Clinton’s global work on AIDS and other issues. So, I should just shut my mouth! This is the former spokesman for Clinton at the White House, Joe Lockhart. Does this sound like a threat? I’m the – I’m – this – I’m the subject here of verbal stalking.

I may want to go for a restraining order on these people. I can’t wake up without Clinton mentioning my name. I can’t wake up without Daschle mentioning my name. I can’t wake up without hearing about the Democrats targeting me! Every day, I get up, and they’re trying to get rid of me! They’re trying to harm my success. They’re trying to duplicate my success, or whatever.

Now, Clinton’s chief spokesman has warned me I had better shut my mouth. I’ll tell you what it does. It does – ladies and gentlemen – it’s reminiscent of hate speech. This is extreme, don’t you think? Limbaugh should just shut his mouth. Keep his mouth shut. Um, this is just – this is - is just -

This is just where I had to leave one of the segments. He got cut off just mere eternities before coming to any sort of rational point. Maybe the rustling of all those dollars he was making for the time he spent opening emails and such wasn’t registering on his cochlear implants (What do you mean, you can’t afford them? Then you’d better make sure you don’t go deaf!)

There’s that hypocrisy thing again, getting in the way of the Mean Green. Or not. . .

Faith and Begorra!

By my faith, ye’re proposing tae invade someplace on Saint Patty’s Day! Be sure you’re not counting on the Irish contingent to be showin’ up...

Too bad they can’t get drunk on power this year like Field Marshal AssKKKroft and the God SquadTM.

06 March 2003

Disinformation Alert!

I got this in my emailbox today:

This CONSERVATIVE ALERT prepared for The Funny Farm:

ISSUE: Liberal Democrats are trying to tear up the Constitution by blocking a vote on President Bush's judicial nominees in the Senate...

Funny Farm Fact: this vote is not unconstitutional, but rather part of the rules of the Senate! Let's hear some more propaganda from these creeps:

...but their obstructionism may be coming to an end. As Gary Bauer (R-Apocalyptic Theocrat) has noted, Senate Republican leaders have announced that they plan to move TODAY (Thursday, March 6) for a vote on "'cloture,' a legislative term that means there will be a vote to end the filibuster on Miguel Estrada's nomination to the federal bench." Cloture requires 60 votes, and according to reports, the GOP only has 55 now; however, Republican leaders argue a cloture vote will force every senator to go on the record one way or another, "and they say they're prepared to bring up cloture again and again and again until this nominee gets an up-or-down vote on confirmation."
Funny Farm Comment: What a surprise! Keep on bringing up the issue until they get what they want! I wonder where they learned that trick?
Let's read some more disinformation:

...We need to do better than that. WE NEED THOSE LAST 5 VOTES. So we need to TAKE ACTION NOW!

ACTION ITEM: Sixty votes are required to break a filibuster, and the 5 additional votes to stop debate could come from any of the following Senators -- even if they don't represent your state, THEY NEED TO HEAR FROM YOU. Please call them and urge them to support Estrada.

There follows a listing of every Democratic Senator with the balls to stand up to Drinky McDumbAss and the God Squad. If you are able to read and understand things posted here, you can find them on your own and call them to praise them for doing the right thing.

. . .You can also Contact your own two U.S. senators and urge them to SUPPORT the nomination of Miguel Estrada to the U.S. Appeals Court for the District of Columbia Circuit.

You can also put a gun to your head and pull the trigger. Maybe it would be quicker that way ...

...Please contact your senators, regardless of party. As Bauer says, "Take nothing for granted! Our friends need to know that we support them and that we want them to keep fighting. Our opponents need to know that we are paying attention and that we will not forget." NOTE: Thanks in large part to your efforts, we've convinced four Democrats (Senators Bill Nelson of FL, John Breaux of LA, Zell Miller of GA, and Ben Nelson of NE) to support cloture, to bring Estrada's nomination to a full vote.

The Funny Farm asks pretty much the same thing: don’t forget how badly these Repugnicant bastards are screwing us all. Remember how shamelessly the Media Whores are sugar coating the illegal things the Usurper-In-Thief and the rest of the junta are doing every day. And don’t forget that they are still trying to blame it all on the previous President (as opposed to the Repugnicants, who controlled the House and tied up the Senate during his term in office).

05 March 2003

Patriots R Us

Maybe it's because I haven't had my coffee yet. But this piece, which I got to from Atrios, is really frelling bugging me right now. The headline reads:

Peace T-shirt leads to man's arrest.

You can read it for yourself here.

A couple of comments from the Funny Farm: We’ll not mention how incredibly stupid this was (the guy they arrested is ’ the director of the Albany Office of the state Commission on Judicial Conduct, which investigates complaints of misconduct against judges and can admonish, censure or remove judges found to have engaged in misconduct.’), or how intolerant this is, either. Others have discussed this in length. No, what I would like to point out is that this story is, again, way too short. Somehow, when things like this happen, the Conservative Media manages to ignore it if they can, and downplay it otherwise. I’m sure most of you have heard the hue and cry that went up in Maine, because some teachers might make some negative comments to the children of soldiers. Well, that story was blown way out of proportion. And then this sort of thing gets downplayed?

I hear Canadian real estate is not too expensive these days. Don’t tell ‘em you’re American, though – you might find you’re too patriotic to live there!

04 March 2003

Something to Say

Hey gang! I have been off tending to a sick young lady (Hi Baby!), and resting up for the onrushing madness descending upon my position at work. I wish I could rant for a while about Drinky McDumbAss and the God Squad and how he blew the whole diplomacy gig for like, about as long as we all will be alive or so. But I am not going to have too much time to do it this week. (sigh) I’m sure you’ll be able to live without me . . .

In the meantime, check out all the crap being pointed out by the excellent web sites on the left hand side of this page. BartCop found a really kewl game out there – you try and catch babies as Michael Jackson drops them off of his balcony! Kos, Atrios, and Hesiod are all banging away at Tipsy McStagger as he lurches into year three of Theocracy in Action (who cares what you think?). And, some excellent parodies lately by WhiteHouse.org, Jesus’ General and Scumbuster. Plus charts from uggabugga, the hamster is back, Pax Liberalis Uber Alles, and Ethel the Blog blows the lid on Windows XP! Don’t know what I’m talking about? (it’s okay – it happens to me all the time - and I’m saying it!) Then go click on some links and expand your mind!

Oh, and anyone who sees my muse running around – tell ‘em to come back here and inspire me!