17 April 2003

There is No Joy in Hockeytown

Mighty Dead Things Have Struck Out. D’oh! Quack quack..

And, thanks to BartCop, here’s something from Sweden that might cause Ditto Monkeys to spontaneously combust:

Thanks to whoever gave BartCop this pic

14 April 2003

And now, a Response from our Readership

My baby Ally responds to the silly post I made about the God Squad’s latest proposed invasion of the Eleventh Circuit Court of the Untied United States.

Tom:

Hey baby! Just saw your blog from Wed.......silly boy! Well, I thought I may take the opportunity to educate some of your readers out there in blog-land.......

Who the hell is William Prayor (oh, sorry, Pryor) and what right does he have to tell women what they can or can't insert into their vaginas?

This is an outrage!!! Do they want women to resort to those back-alley vibrators made with parts from old walkmans and poor, innocent fruits and vegetables!

No, really, who does this jerk-off think he is? He's probably taking away the only pleasure his wife has. So would he rather horny women take to the streets and just have sex with men at random? Wait till you see the pregnancy rate in his jurisdiction sky-rocket!!!!!! Oh, sorry, thats right, women don't enjoy sex, its just for procreation.....

I see that he is an advisor to the dept. of homeland security. Vibrators are definately a threat to all those stogy old men who can't get it up anymore. ( Can u say Tom Ridge?) This man is a threat to the sexual freedom of women everywhere...he would rather keep us bare-foot and pregnant and un-filled!!!

Don't get me wrong, vibrators aren't a substitution for a horny, wonderful, sexy, intelligent man, but they do help women explore their sexuality. They also can stand in when the "soldier" has retired for the evening...............

Attached is a pic of an (personal fave) offending apparatus. Be on the lookout for its pic hanging in your local post office. Public enemy #1......(I know it's #1 in my book. Oh Baby!!!)


WANTED for Crimes Against Humanity

13 April 2003

FM, Baby!

Due to the magic of the internet, am able to travel forward in time to present this cartoon to you before it comes out:

God said it's okay

Phase Two Begins: Ignorance is Strength

Maybe we need to be a little more aware of some bad men doing some awful things. Joe Biden (D-Repugnicant Lite) has tacked a modified RAVE Act to the AMBER Alert bill, which will be signed by pResident Pinhead in the next few days. Call it part of the fog of war, I guess - Congress was also awful quick to sign in enough money to pay off the graft war so far before leaving for an eleven day recess. During the war, for Odin’s sake! Guess it’s okay to leave King Usurper and the Vice pResidential Dick in charge of things in the meantime. I mean, what could go wrong?

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you do need to re-read that last paragraph, once you’ve come back from reading all the pertinent information. Things have rapidly degenerated in this country - think about how draconian things are since The Kompassionate Karing Konservative was anointed by the Five Supremes. Then think about how many companies have declared bankruptcy, and the associated hundreds of thousands whose pensions have disappeared into a puff of smoke - right before they were going to be utilized! By those who were promised this security in exchange for working their collective butts off for that same company for their working lives. Then think about how many other positions have been lost during Tipsy McStagger’s reign. Then think about how many lives have been lost to fundamentalist extremism in this time frame (extra points for the enlightened souls who consider all of the unrest all over the world in their calculations). Then think about the increase in the price of consumer goods, insurance premiums, and service fees. Then think about how divided this country has become over those last couple of years.

And that’s just the highlights, folks, since we first began the Drinky McDumbass and the God Squad ExperienceTM. I wish I could see this forest, and how to keep it viable in the future. But the current junta is unlike anything in American history in terms of intensity and intent to destroy. The scorched earth policy currently being fine tuned by the cabal doesn’t win many awards in my book.

At least I’m not leaving any hostages behind when I go...