25 April 2003

Hypocrisy Overload Yet Again (Oh Ralph please Make IT STOP!!!)

We received this from the Conservative Alerts group, who are apparently living in some sort of alternate universe. Where, not only is Ann Thraxx revered as a modern day Cassandra (only she gets believed), her whims do become reality – some Connecticut Yankee really does imitate McVeigh at the New York (Moderately Right Wing Media Whores) Times building, Minister of Church in State Graham brings his occult pagan rituals to the heathens in the Middle East as the official AmeriKKKan faith, and the junta ‘kills all their males and converts the rest of their people to Christianity’. In that alternate universe, the following Redneck Cracker Conservative Alert is not merely propaganda cleverly disguised as a realistic interpretation of the Santorum debacle:

This CONSERVATIVE ALERT prepared for The Funny Farm:

ISSUE: Once again, a staunch conservative in the U.S. Senate is under fire from radical liberals for a statement he made. Only this time, the Senator is in good company -- and the statement he made is RIGHT.

According to CNSNews.com, "Homosexual activists have targeted Sen. Rick Santorum (R-PA) for removal from his post as leader of the Senate Republican Conference for alleged 'discrimination' because of comments he made comparing homosexuality to other sexual behaviors he considers immoral."

Santorum, discussing a current Supreme Court case dealing with a Texas law outlawing homosexual sex, said in an interview with the Associated Press, "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything."

Radical liberal groups like the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), the nation's largest homosexual political lobbying group, are demanding that Santorum be treated the same as Sen. Trent Lott (R-MI) was when he was forced into stepping down from leadership due to remarks he made that were interpreted as racially biased. But in reality, Santorum simply raised the same issues that some Supreme Court justices raised during oral arguments!

"You think adultery laws are unconstitutional?" one justice asked. "Don't you think that what laws a State may constitutionally pass has a lot to do with what laws it has always been thought that a State can constitutionally pass [such as laws against] bigamy, adultery, all sorts of things like that?" another justice inquired.

Santorum was simply raising the same questions that the justices on the U.S. Supreme Court were asking! For this, the Left wants him vilified?

And finally, get this: FoxNews.com reports that the woman who conducted the interview with Santorum -- and who continues to report for AP on the conflict it created -- is none other than Lara Jakes Jordan, who is married to Jim Jordan, a former official with the Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, and who is now the campaign manager for liberal Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts, who is running for president! Gee, small world, isn't it?

ACTION ITEM: Even the homosexual activist group's lawyer conceded the very argument for which Santorum has been criticized, when he said this to the Supreme Court: "As for adultery and all of the other parade of horribles [sic] which people have raised in their briefs... the idea that by recognizing the right of all adult couples to make choices like this in their own home the court is going to open up a whole can of worms, I submit, is correct."

What? Why, that's what Sen. Santorum said! Will the radical liberals call for the resignation of their own lawyer? And if the Supreme Court upholds the Texas law, are they going to ask for the Supreme Court justices to resign too?

This is just plain ridiculous. We need to let our Senators know that we aren't falling for this liberal witchhunt, and neither should they. Go to the site below to send a message to your Senators, which will also be copied to Sen. Santorum, telling them to support him against these false charges of "discrimination":

This site not available through the Funny Farm

NOTE: Please forward this message to as many people as you can who want to show their support for a true conservative Senator, against the frantic antics of the radical leftists. Thank you!


You are receiving this communication because you requested to be e-mailed regarding issues and offers of interest to conservatives, either when you sent an e-mail to Congress, signed an online petition, sent a FedEx, faxgram or mailgram, or when you donated to a conservative cause or candidate on the Internet or through postal mail. In this case, I used an 'astroturf' form to protest the abuse of this sort of thing by the right wing wackos who control our current political agenda.

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In this alternate universe, the liberal media are going on a witchhunt to smear little Ricky.

Do you have to wear special glasses to see this alternate reality? Or is there some sort of inoculation involved? I cannot fathom how anyone can still believe these people anymore.

And, um, I was just wondering. Why did we impeach the last guy to be legally elected as president again?

22 April 2003

A Quick Note During the Interregnum

Well, campers... it has been an interesting week at the Funny Farm. In fact, I’m not even at the digs these days. An impromptu couple of days off to take care of business has turned into a week long vacation, thanks to some Ditto Monkeys crack hos thieves who broke into my baby’s house and stole some of her most precious belongings. Mainly the ones that were easy to cart off, and easily fenced pawned with little trouble.

However, since Allyson is now ensnared in the Karmic Maelstrom enveloping my doings on the globe this time around, there had to be at least one unusual element to this heist. So, it is now my duty to inform you, my viewing public, to be on the lookout for that very dangerous (to some) and wicked device that appeared on this web site over the last fortnight. That’s right, kids - in between rummaging through all of my lady’s personal belongings, pouring over ten pounds of change out of a glass jug into something and lugging it away, stealing all of her jewelry and coin collection and her 357 pistol, these pricks took her recently acquired (cough) erotic enhancement apparatus. She somehow neglected to report it to the authorities - I’m pretty sure she must have forgotten it when she talked to the detective earlier today.

More developments on this, as well as a story of personal interest from the Great White North, should be forthcoming in the next few weeks. I’m due to get the cable modem back - albeit from a different provider - in the next couple of days. Hey, at least I don’t gots bees in my bonnet...

Possible random guerilla blogging may take place from undisclosed locations throughout midwest North America over the next few days...

21 April 2003

Can I Super Size that for you?