12 March 2004

Shooting Fish in a Barrell

To the cast and crew of Citizens United (no, I don't link to corpo-weasel media whores):

Floyd, you just stuck your foot in your mouth again. So, you want to complain about how rich Senator Kerry is? Let's take a quick look at the Chimperor:

Usurper in Thief George W. Bush:

Custom Oxxford suits : $2,000 - $14,000 each

Air Force One interruption of Daytona 500: Over $1 million of taxpayer money

1,583 acre ranch in Crawford, bought in 1999: appraised at approximately $1 million in 2001, with ranch hands paid by taxpayer money

A lying, arrogant pinhead who has cost the United States taxpayers over $1 trillion dollars in tax breaks to corporations and the elite: Worthless

Un-Select Bush in 2004

Parody created by the Funny Farm

Dean Teaser

The all-seeing, ever watchful (cough) eyes of the Funny Farm News Burro have received this short update from the esteemed doctor from Vermont:

Dear Funny Farm,

John Kerry and I had a very good meeting yesterday. During the campaign we often focused on what divided us, but the truth is we have much more in common beginning with our fervent desire to send George Bush back to Crawford, Texas in November. The future of our country depends on this.

In addition to our strong commitment to turning this country around by beating George Bush, John and I also share a strong commitment to providing healthcare to every American, cleaning up and protecting our environment, and getting the 3 million Americans who lost their jobs during George Bush's presidency back to work.

As I have previously said, I will work closely with John Kerry to make sure we beat George Bush in November and turn our country around. There is a lot we can do together to rebuild an America that belongs to all of us, and we'll be saying more about what our amazing grassroots network can do to help with this goal on March 18.


Governor Howard Dean M.D.

11 March 2004

Jesse Is Back Too!

Of course, adding Ezra to Pandagon was somewhat like having Orr and Esposito (take your pick, depending on what kind of game you like) as the pick up ball hockey team of the blogshpere. If you can follow my tortuous mangling of metaphors, you’d see that I think Pandagon has such an embarrassment of riches that some of you may have not noticed that Jesse was sitting on the sidelines for a little bit in the first place.

But, that’s not important right now. What is important is that you set aside any victuals before going to see this story.

Once you have recovered you should visit the main page. There’s probably a half dozen more crazy things that these two have seen and posted about since I viddied their site. And a half dozen more that I have to see before I get back to where Jesse went on hiatus. Won’t you join me in taking some time to view their latest mind candy?

08 March 2004

Hesiod Is Back!

This blogger said burnout was a problem. I can see why – Counterspin Central tries (as well as more than manages) to be at the forefront of the Fashionable Left Bank of Blogistan, and that is a full time job in and of itself. Especially considering the amount of crap this administration forces one to wade through, just to keep up with their latest outrages (much less fight them) is a job for a full time staff.

However, this nugget is particularly nice. Not only did The Chimperor’s handlers screw up by using those firefighters in ads, they used actors instead of real firefighters, in some cases! Glad to see that Hesiod's self-imposed exile has ended, and he can show us the way to these kind of stories once again.

As for the Repugnicant abuse of our nation's latest calamity: Yes, these are the same people accusing the Democratic nominee for the presidency of ‘inaccuracies’ in his statements. No wonder that damn irony alert siren keeps going off around here...

07 March 2004

Everybody Should Read This Article Right Now

Quite possibly the spirit of Doug Piranha (of Monty Python's Piranha Brothers) occupied Tony Hendra’s pen while this was being transferred to paper. Go ahead and read the whole thing. I’ll wait. . .

Quick question : will any Freepertrash ditto monkeys fail to see the sarcasm dripping through this document?

faith-based mania
is the tip of the iceberg
for these hypocrites

Many many thanks to Blah Blah Blah (aka (the American) Stranger) for pointing to this article on his awesome blog, and Busy Busy Busy for bringing out my latent ability (or lack thereof) in haiku.